Jello Legs

While Grand Master Yang is in Vietnam, his triple black belt second-in-command is in charge of us clumsy Americans. I imagine Grand Master summed up his expectations to our temporary teacher in two words, "Amuse yourself."

This guy is an acrobat with a sick sense of humor.

He demonstrates what he wants us to do, then makes us repeat it ten times. That doesn't sound so bad...except, the moves are impossible for any non-triple black belt dude. For example, Master does ten toe touches back to back...He actually jumps up and touches his toes IN THE AIR ten times in a row. Then he sits back and watches us pretend to do the same. Another example: Master squats then shoots out his legs (like Ukrainian dancers) and lands on his feet in a crouched position...ten times. We can't do it once. I'm sure it's pretty entertaining for him. I'm sure because once he actually broke down in laughter. He stopped what he was doing, hid his face behind his arms, and nearly sobbed laughter. We all laughed too, if a little nervously.

I'd like to quote Janaki's blog entry about our current instructor, "This guy might be a hot shot in TKD, but I saw him walking around the back gate area yesterday and he was wearing pale denim tapered jeans. Loser."

It was hotter in the gym than usual, and we worked extra hard on kicks today. Sets of forty on each leg, front kick, side kick, roundhouse kick. My legs feel like jello.

For all that, I love taekwondo more than ever. I really love kicking the pad targets because they give me something to aim for. It's quite satisfying to hear the loud *pop* upon contact.

Yellow belt test: Thursday

The Placement Announcement

Sixty-four fidgety ETAs crammed into a classroom on Wednesday to find out their doom...I mean fortune. The F*lbright office came all the way from Seoul to announce the schools we will teach at for the next year. Mrs. Sh*m (F*lbright Korea Executive Director) and the staff worked hard to make the students, schools, and ETAs happy.

It was all very intense. First, we all file into a room that had been off-limits while we waited in the hallway. Then without much ado, Mrs. Sh*m gets up and states, "We tried very hard to make a good match. Don't compare yourselves to other ETAs. It will only make you unhappy. Let's begin." *wild applause* They announced the placements by region and then had everybody put a sticky up on the map where they were placed. The tension was thick. Mrs. Sh*m announced the school name in Korean, while the OCTs announced the school type and location in English. Everyone was so wound up that we all burst into applause at every placement. Most everyone is happy with their placements; those that aren't probably wouldn't be happy no matter the placement.

My placement was announced mid-way through the festivities. I got the school of my dreams! I wanted advanced kids and to be in a rural area, and I got both. If you notice, though, I'm quite on my own in terms of geographic location. Some ETAs are sharing cities (and an island), but my red sticky is out there in the open. People have asked me whether I'm OK with it. Of course I am! I'll just make a point to stay in touch with civilization.

The greatest part is the map with all of our stickies on it. I love looking to see where my friends are placed. I'm excited to go visit them all over the country.

Andong, here I come!

ETA placements were announced today...and I will be teaching for the next twelves months in...

City: Andong
Province: Gyeongsangbuk-do
School: P*ngsan High School

Type: co-ed, private, non-religiously affiliated, boarding school (majority of students live in school dormitory)

I will be teaching less than 300 students per semester, and according to the previous ETA, they "ranged from low intermediate to quite advanced with a few nearly fluent students."

Lonely Planet Korea says, "The whole area surrounding Andong is peaceful and rural and notable for having preserved much of its traditional character."

I've highlighted Andong in red in the map above (click to enlarge). My orientation is currently in Chuncheon (highlighted in blue).

I'm completely satisfied with my placement and am looking forward to spending a year there.

[http://www.andong.go.kr/eng/default.asp]
[http://www.gyeongbuk.go.kr/English/index.htm]

Taekwondo

Don't I look scary? I mean, the smile is just a ploy to lure my opponent into a false sense of security. The dobok (uniform), however, is all business.

The Fulbright ETAs have the privilege of being instructed by a semi-celebrity in the taekwondo world. Yang Hee-Suk is a director of the Kangwon Do Taekwondo Association and has the patience of a saint. He's forty-eight, can kick some serious ass, but still takes the time to teach thirty novice Americans with no martial art experience. Grand Master Yang will be absent next week because he's traveling to Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam to judge a competition. His top student will step in as "sabomneem," which translates to "master" in English.

Today, in addition to individual practice, we watched some sparing. Three black belts and Grand Master Yang kicked, spun, and screamed. It was incredibly impressive. They seemed to be having a great time until one particularly unlucky student got kicked in the crotch...dead on. I mean, crotch assaults are generally hilarious when viewed on sitcoms and Funniest Home Videos. However, this was not so hilarious as the guy was writhing in pain on the ground. He tried to get up but fell back face-first into the mat. The Grand Master laughed, slapped him on the butt, and said a couple of sentences in Korean. I gather his Korean translated to "Get up you big baby. It couldn't have hurt that bad," to which the kid answered with painful panting and a facial expression that could only be interpreted as "Shoot me in the face, right now." At this point, the female ETAs winced, the male ETAs paled with eyes darting to find the nearest object that would put him out of his misery. Eventually, the poor guy made it to his feet, bowed to Grand Master then limped off into the corner. Grand Master sighed and picked two ETAs to spare. ... We were terrified.

Our yellow belt test date is set: August 3rd.

Seoul

Went to Seoul this weekend. The subway system is phenomenal. The English translations are not.

The trip was two days long, and it rained non-stop. Three ETAs and I visited Gyeongbokgung Palace, est. 1395 (see photos). I LOVE the mountains in the background. It is, according to Seoul's 100 Best, "The most representative remaining example of Joseon Dynasty architecture, it is the culmination of the finest techniques of the age." Admission, $3. They have a changing of the guard ceremony, and I enjoyed it more than the English version. The soldiers have fascinating costumes (see photos, b&w courtesy Katie Dale). We also toured Jongmyo "where the ancestral tablets of the kings and queens of the Joseon Dynasty are enshrined...This majestic building has been designated by UNESCO as a world heritage site."

Outside of the Jongmyo grounds was one of my favorite bits of Korea: an outdoor noraebaang. Noraebaangs are basically karaoke bars in Korea. Koreans LOVE noraebaangs. However, an outdoor one is particularly special. In the context, it was downright jawdropping. It was pouring (monsoon season remember). The park had a wooden shelter where people could have picnics and such in inclement weather. There were at least 30 elderly Korean men, and a couple women, packed under this canopy, most of which looked sauced. We could hear the music from a couple blocks away but had no idea what it was. You see, Koreans love noraebaangs, but that doesn't correspond to the general population having a good ear. We stopped and stared until a nice little man came up and gestured for us to join in. We graciously declined. Some cultural experiences are best observed.

On another note, we saw some fascinating English storefronts. Including this one for a store called YES (see photo for proof this exists):

"Hey June!! Didn't you see my panty and brassiere? Well...isn't that yours? No! How about this one? It's mine!! My underwear!! Why don't go to yes? Yes? Yes!! Yes. Let's go to yes!!!!"

What is a duckstone?

It's monsooning again.

I've joined a tae-kwon-do (pronounced teh-kwun-doe) class with 25 other ETAs. Our Grand Master is nationally recognized and his team recently won the national championship. He knows next to no English, but that's ok because we just copy how he moves. Korea has two sets of words for numbers, so no one has learned how to count to ten. This is problematic as Grand Master makes us shout out numbers as we do specific moves. Instead of articulating Korean, we've all just been grunting and shouting nonsensical sounds. As for our athletic prowess, we're...not national champions. Grand Master's facial expressions are priceless. I can only imagine the hilarity of his inner monologue. Tae-kwon-do is an extremely effective workout. The exercise combined with the 90% humidity makes us all drip sweat. I'm sore. Even the ballerina of the group is sore. For all that, it's an absolute blast, fun and rewarding. We'll test for a yellow belt by the end of orientation.

Tae-kwon-do Masters ask their students to wash their uniforms everyday. Luckily, even though Grand Master is high up in the hierarchy, he's pretty chill about some 'rules.' We wash our uniforms every three days or so. And do they need it....

In other news, all ETAs were divided into groups of four and assigned Korean language partners. My Korean friends go by "Clark" and "Misa." Clark chose his name because he had just watched Superman, and he knew it would be a name Americans would remember. Clark took us out to "A traditional Korean pub," as stated on the front door. Inside we sat on the floor at a low table, ate yummy food, and drank rice wine. Be careful, the rice wine is strong, but sweet. Clark taught us Korean table etiquette. [Use both hands when receiving, drink away from the higher ranking person, don't touch anything the high ranking person hasn't already touched.] It was a great opportunity to learn about Korean customs while allowing Clark to practice his English. We're going to a noraebaang [karaoke bar] next time! Koreans LOVE karaoke.

This weekend I was supposed to go "camping" with the Korean KEY Club. This club is made up of college students who want to practice their English with native speakers. We planned to go to a park-like area to play games and converse. However, the rain has since delayed those plans. For your amusement, please read excerpts from the Korean schedule below, quote:

games: catching a water bomb, being a duckstone, being one in body and spirit, explain to the next person by using only body language
contest: Miss K.E.Y. (Mans have to disguise themselves as women)
We will have a drinking party.
We will have time to take a walk. And at that time you have to find several treasures out.

The handout ends with "I really want to make great memorize with ETA friends. Thank you for your joining."

Ah, Korea.

Chipping into the language barrier

Today was the first Korean language class. Four hours of intense pronunciation and repetition later, I now know most of the alphabet and five handy phrases. Linguists be damned; Korean is not an easy language. Above is a photo of one of my workbooks. You'll notice that there is absolutely no indication of the contents of said book in the cover art. Since when does "Blue Bear" the "basketball player" suggest the presence of alphabet practice pages? And why doesn't yellow dog get any recognition as the pathetic, short, athletically-challenged character who's never made a basket in its life? The funniest part...both are stuffed animals, but the cover art draws in their facial expressions...

Oh my chicken.

I've adopted a new expletive. "Oh my chicken!" Also, Korean pigs are more than happy to be eaten.

Tonight's dinner discussion-ethanol. A guy pointed out, "Think about it. Iowans would be the new Texans."

So it begins...

I'm jet-lagged, so I'll make it brief. Korea is mountainous, green, and humid. Today all the ETAs got together for brief introductions (one guy from Harvard, another from USC, a gal from Whitman, another from Berkeley, etc.) and name-tag creation. Then came our placement test.

...

Placement test? Ummm, I don't have to take this do I? Oh, everyone has to take it? Alright...maybe they want me to write down the Korean alphabet.

"Please write a paragraph introducing yourself in Korean."

...

$*&^

Luckily, sixty other ETAs had panicked looks on their faces. Only a handful knew any Korean at all. Looks like Basic Korean class won't be lonely.

*pfew