Some things never change

This week is the last time I'll teach my current students because they'll be moving up a grade at the new year. I put together a great goodbye lesson of How the Grinch Stole Christmas (which I've watched 12 times now), candy canes, and a class photo. I wanted to use the time to say goodbye to the students who've made me so happy here. However, my last class today was rudely interrupted by a school-wide writing test which no one informed me would happen.

I've come to accept the many schedule changes, surprise exams, and club activities that conflict with my class time, but I resented it today (of all days!).

A teacher came to the door right as I was going to push play and motioned for me to come. I gestured, "Me?" and he did what most Koreans do, he made fun of his English by saying something totally inappropriate. He said, "Yeah, baby!" The girls laughed with delight. I was aghast.

He explained in the hallway that there was a writing test, then we both went back inside. He explained what was happening to the students, then again used inappropriate English. The girls whined about the test. "Shut up," he replied.

I was not entertained. It's not funny anymore. Even though he was making a joke, it's not funny. This is the problem with learning English words without proper connotation and void of context. The thing is, I don't think he (or anyone else who does this, and that's most people in Korea) care about appropriateness or politeness or connotations of what they're saying. English is a joke. And as long as they treat it like that, they'll be one too...which means, to them, I'll continue to be the clown.

Dialogues

The last question on my final exam was a six line dialogue using the picture below. It should have contained at least two compliments (which they learned about in my compliments lesson) and must have been appropriate for the situation.

The picture is from the Naruto series. Naruto (B) is on the right, while his friend (A), whom I don't know because I don't know much of anything about the series, is on the left.

My students never cease to surprise me. Although I had to correct 600 of these, amidst the disappointing robot responses were gems of brilliance. Enjoy.
~an awesome response~
A: I like your hair style.
B: Me too! Thank you.
A: You are always enthusiastic.
B: Yeah, I think you are a superwoman.
A: I'm flattered! When I was young, I wanna be a superwoman.
B: Haha...Then your dream came true.

~a great dialogue~
I don't know what to buy my parents gift.
I will help you.
Really? Thanks. You're so kind~
^-^ Thanks. How about couple rings?
Couple rings? That's good! You are smart!
Smart? Hahaha...Thank you!

~a pretty standard answer~
Oh! Hi~
Hi~
You are so kind.
Thank you. You are so smart.
Thank you. Have a nice day!
Bye.

Not quite compliments:
Hello~
Hi~
You face is very good look.
Oh! Thank you. You too.
And you very taller than me.
Thanks.

You have a funny face!
W...What?
Ha...Ha...Ha...I'm sorry ^^;;
Hum...You are so aglry?
I don't think so!
And. you are so impatient!

Hey boy. You're style good.
Oh, really? You, too.
Hey...I'm a girl.
Don't distinguish! I love your style.
Oh, thanks.
See you later.

Wow. I'm glad to hear your brave sound.
Wow! Thank you.
Are you getting better with your throat?
You always think of me. Your mind is so kind.
You also have it.
That's why I like you.

Oh! You have a nice hair style.
Really? Thank you. You, too.
Thanks. I want to your big mouth.
No. I want to your Big eyes.
Haha...Your so very kind.
You're welcome.

I think you are very famous in Korea.
Really? I think so.
But Sangmi doesn't know you.
Oh my god! I'm so sad.
Just kidding.
Oh! That's a good news!~

~not what I was assigned, but incredibly entertaining~
What are you doing Naruto?
I'm fighting with my enemies.
Are you ok? Can I help you?
No thanks, You're so kind!
I know you're so strong! Cheer up!
Thanks you, just wait a minute. I'll them off.

You very small.
What? I am angry!
Calm down.
I can't stand it anymore.
Let's call it a day.
You...You...cursed.

You're idiot.
What? You too!
I'm very wise.
Shut up please!
I think of divorcing you!
What?! Why?!

What's up? Man.
I have ask you out. Do you have a time?
Ummm. I think your suggest.
No. Hurry up. I'm so nerves.
Oh. When we meet tomorrow.
No. Right now.

I'm so upset.
Why?
I'm hungry
Me too!!
I'm very boring
Let's play together.

I love you.
What????
I love you!
What's the matter?
Maybe...I like you.
Really?

~my favorite~
I think you're brave!
Why do you think so?
Because you saved my puppy.
Your puppy is brave too.
Why?
Because he bit me.

Seoul Grand Park

I took a trip to Seoul Grand Park last weekend. This huge campus holds an amusement park, zoo, and a mountain. It's in the southern end of Seoul city limits, but is easily accessible by subway.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love zoos. I was giddy on the subway imagining the evolutionary adaptations that I could witness first-hand and subsequently make fun of. (Is there any animal more ridiculous than the anteater?) Of course, I was particularly excited for the primate exhibit. Unfortunately, the primate exhibit was under renovation, so no great apes that day.

I DID get to see the lions fed. The zookeeper blew a whistle and chucked large chunks of flesh over the fence. The lions took turns catching the meat mid-air and growled. "I want a kitten," I thought.

I also got to watch the marine show which included kissing seals and flipping dolphins. At one point, a small macaque came out with an apron on for no apparent reason at all.

I am amazed by human ingenuity. The fact that we train animals to do acrobatics using a whistle and anchovies still boggles the mind.

Seoul Grand Park at dusk.

Beautiful winter day with Jeongbok.

Korean Wake

Yesterday, my executive director's husband passed away, and fourteen hours later, I was attending his wake. The funeral home is attached to the hospital, but reminded me more of a fancy department store. There were escalators, spotless tiled floors, and attendants on each floor in spiffy uniforms directing you where to go. The flat screen TVs on the wall listed the deceased names, dates, and where the services were being held. They look vaguely like the airport screens listing arrivals and departures. This made me think, "What do Korean maternity wards look like?"

Upon entering the room, I gifted money in an envelope (the Korean tradition), signed the guest book, then was led into a side room. Here is where my executive director was (with her children). She was in a black hanbok. The room was full of flowers, and on the far side was a picture of her husband. I wasn't exactly sure what to do. This was a delicate situation. I didn't want to be culturally insensitive. Thankfully, the other women from the office were there too. I followed their lead.

We all picked up a beautiful white flower. (I'm still trying to discover the English name.) We placed the flower under the photo, lit incense, then bowed twice all the way to the floor. Then we turned to the grieving family and bowed to them. This was the tough part. She thanked me for coming. Though she's Korean, I felt I should do what I felt was right at the time, and I gave her a hug. A hug is not a traditional act of condolence in Korea, but I think she appreciated it nonetheless.

After leaving the side room, I sat down at the tables and ate dinner. Food is always involved in important Korean events. The soup was so good, I ate a second bowl, or perhaps I was still a bit nervous. I was definitely a bit sad. Friday, I catch a bus early in the morning to go to the burial.

How much is that doggy in the window?

Every day on my way home from school, I walk by a pet hospital. As far as I can tell, it's more like a doggy motel with a guy who wears a lab coat manning the counter. I've never been inside because, obviously, I have no reason to go in. I've got neither a pet, nor the need to enter a hospital.

However, I always look forward to passing by. Why?

This little guy.
Could a puppy be any cuter?

Wait, yes it can. Check out this photo.And now everyone's day is better. ^^

Winter arrives

The weather's flipped over night here. It's FREEZING! Last week the leaves were golden and the breeze was crisp, and now walking to the subway gives me an ice cream headache. I am incredibly impressed with my high school girls who wear uniform short skirts every day. Some of them don't even wear leggings underneath. I wore my long underwear under my jeans today, and I've come to the conclusion that my students simply have lost all feeling below the waist. You should see how they walk. :)

It snowed everywhere in Korea except Seoul last night. Though snow is fun, pretty, and muffles the sound of traffic, I really shouldn't be wishing for it as I've been known to slide AWAY from my school while walking up the hill; it's located on the summit. Snow is scary, and it melts, leaving you even more cold. And yet...I really wanted to chase a snowflake down with my tongue this morning.

Gatbawi (outside Daegu)

An average of 6 million people visit Gatbawi each year.
This Buddha was carved in 638 AD.
Pilgrims come to pray in front of the stone Buddha especially for good health.
It's mystically located on top of the mountain.

What shall we call it?

Introducing "Fonus," FamilyMart's Bonus. Bonus what? Savings, food, an extra polite employee? It remains a mystery. Yet, somehow I'm already sold on the idea. Now THAT'S clever marketing.

Hope

Yes we can.

Yes we will.

"Waffle Fish"

Bungeobbang

This is my favorite Korean street food. I like to call them waffle fish because they're made out of waffle batter and cutely shaped like fish. Inside, however, is sweet red bean paste. For those of you who've never tried red bean, you're missing out.

Bungeobbang stands pop up in the late fall and continue serving until the spring.

I stroll down the brick sidewalks of Seoul, golden leaves falling, the crisp air filling my lungs, hot bungeobbang warming my fingers...I'm happy.

Happy Halloween

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I wore this costume to school every day this week.

Funnily, I got the same number of stares as usual in this country. ^^

Check out the picture a student drew for me on the left.

Out of practice, out of mind

I recently read an article for a teacher and summarized it for her. It was actually a chapter from a graduate school textbook about task-based language learning. While reading, I realized two things. 1. I am ridiculously out of practice when it comes to mulling over academic text. My attention span has reverted to that of a hyped-up macaque, and the notion that I'll learn something from it doesn't make it any easier to force myself to focus on the crowded font and footnotes.

I'm at a post-academic stage right now.

This is awful.

and 2. Being a teacher now, I don't think I would have survived through teacher's college. Educational theory is not only boring to dissect, but the graphs are nearly impossible for me to wrap my head around. Maybe I'm just biased against flow charts, but what the hell do they mean? In the chapter there was a flow chart with three boxes (teacher perception, student perception, and combined perceptions) with arrows pointing to each other. Was that chart really necessary? Didn't it just eat up half a page causing me to print out an extra sheet of paper with four lines on it? The author can't seriously believe that this chart is helpful in any way. I know some people are visual learners, and I'm one of them. I just don't get flow charts. If you're going to put in anything visual to supplement your words, you might as well draw a cartoon with funny zingers in thought bubbles.

It was a good wake-up call for me. I am now digging out my old anthropology materials and beginning to re-read them in the hopes that I can surpass my previous self. I'm downloading vocabulary, science, and poetry podcasts and listening to them on the subway. Finally, I'm beginning to assign myself essays to get my intellectual juices flowing...er...on paper. That just sounds gross. I've got a long way to go.

Pervading music

Interestingly, most older Koreans have a habit of singing or humming at all times, in all situations. On the subway, walking down the street, waiting, older Koreans sing everywhere. Their voices are twinged with the characteristically Korean vibrato that pervades singing here, from the oldies to modern pop music. At first, I found that vibrato particularly harsh and unpleasant...but it's grown on me. And every time I hear it, I picture the note swaying between invisible limits, and I have to smile.

Scrabble Surprises

(This one's for you Enforcer.)

Though it takes a while to explain to rules, Scrabble has been one of the most successful of all the lessons I've taught. My students have never heard of it, which isn't surprising since the Korean writing system isn't unilaterally horizontal, and thus the game couldn't have been adapted using hangeul. It was great to see the look of interest on their faces when they finally understood the game's concept.

All my students played the game. (I usually only have ~70% participation in every class.)
None of my students slept. (Which proves that it IS possible....I was beginning to despair.)
The lower-level students played as enthusiastically as the higher-level ones. (Almost never the case in regular class...with the exception of Speed Quiz.)
The students helped each other, unhesitatingly. (Helping classmates means everyone is exercising their English twice as much.)

Now, I have to admit...in the States, I'm TERRIBLE at this game. I generally make words like the, lord, rings, etc. I've also been known to invent new and exciting words like xrathero. But in Korea, there are no bad players! My English is infinitely better than my students and for the first time in my life, I've got the edge in this game.

Perhaps THAT'S why I love teaching it so much. ^^

Japan

Would you put your foot in here?

The amazing power of speed quiz

Imagine. You go to school and are told 15 minutes before class time that today's schedule is completely different than normal. Surprise. You have to teach an extra class today. Having only planned one lesson per week, you have no idea what you can throw together in 15 minutes. You slightly panic, open 15 websites, and scramble to find something, ANYTHING, that'll use English and not make you look like an idiot. Then it hits you. Of course! Filed under a neat, little folder on your desktop is your salvation. Speed quiz.

As most native conversation teachers in Korea know, there are few activities more popular (and in my case, effective) than speed quiz. Here's how it works. The class is divided into teams. The first team sends one teammate to the front of the room. On the screen is a powerpoint filled with pictures. The player can't see the pictures. The team must describe the picture to the player, entirely in English, without saying any words in the answer. (No "spider" or "man" for the picture of Spiderman, etc.) The player guesses correctly and receives a point. Teams can pass 2 times and each turn is 2 minutes long.

Sounds simple enough. Doesn't sound like a hole-in-one, does it? Oh, but it is.

My students can't get enough of speed quiz. They LOVE it. They always ask if we're going to play it. And even if we played it not long ago, they never get bored with it.

Why is it so great?
1. All the students can participate. True, not all students can put together a complete sentence, but they can definitely shout out "red" and "Batman's friend."
2. The students actually speak English. This is particularly rare with low-level students. And in a classroom full of 40, this is one of the few opportunities to get everyone speaking during the alloted 50 minutes.
3. No one sleeps. I've found this to be one of my only weapons against the Korean high school epidemic.
4. Very little preparation for the teacher. All you need is a file on the computer. (True, it takes a long time to compile that powerpoint, as it usually requires 100 slides to make it through class. Also, when putting it together you run out of ideas. Thinking of 100 random pictures can be annoying, but so, so worth it.)
5. It's hilarious! Some of my students' clues are so freaking funny. I need to start writing them down.

Example: panda
China bear! So cutey. Black circles [as in, under the eyes]

Example: Britney Spears
Pop star. Sexy. Toxic singer. Sing, no good. No hair. Has children. Crazy!

Example: California*silence. Uhhhh, country. No! America.... Uhhhh... Sushi! ---- roll!

Andong Mask Dance Festival 2008

Pune and Yangban dancing
Filipino guys dancing. One word. "Sparkly."Russian dance troupe. This particular dance told the story of colorful male birds fighting over and performing for the pretty white female birds.
This is an Andong native who's weaving with the traditional loom.Apparently, being American and participating in mask painting earns us the privilege of being photographed by every Korean passerby who owns a removable lens. We were indeed celebrities simply for attending the festival...and looking different.My mask creation.Luckily, we not only found an open jjimjilbang (public bath house), we found one that is open 25 hours a day!

Hot Donna

Meet Hot Donna.
Now, you may not think she's much, but you haven't gotten to know her yet. Looks can be deceiving. Before Hot Donna came into my life, I felt like I was missing something. Every morning, I'd throw back the curtains and take in the beautiful day. Birds chirping, six-lane highway beeping, cleaning lady cleaning, and this scene...
*sigh. Those people looked so happy down there. I thought, "If only I could experience that kind of happiness..." Then I met Hot Donna. She was parked in the basement level of Homever. One glance in her direction and I knew she was the one. It just happened. And now I'm happier than I've ever been. Fairy tales do come true.

Images transcend spoken word

Need the bathroom? Don't know Korean? I think Korea's got the perfect sign for you. (For the record, "화장실" means "bathroom" in Korean...but that information is really unnecessary.)

My new year.

Starting a new year.

Fresh.

Welcome to Seoul 2008-9.

OriZinal

Need I say more?

Walk left

I've been really confused about pedestrians here. The traffic drives on the right, but the people walk on the left. I mean, all traffic should go the same direction, intuitively, right? I thought that maybe people didn't follow ANY direction while on the sidewalk-kinda like on the road. Many a time, I've found myself running into a complete stranger because we try to avoid each other and end up going the same way. Yes. It's awkward...every time. For a while, I thought that Koreans were just stubborn and expected me to move out of their way, whichever way that may be. However, I just discovered that Koreans are SUPPOSED to walk on the left. It was like that in the "old" culture. In fact, in the subways, there are little signs on the ground that say, "Korean cultural people walk on the left." In schools, children are scolded when they ignore the posted notices instructing them to walk left. Dude. I've been thinking about this for the last week.

First, I felt it strange that walking and driving directions were different. I mean, it just feels unnatural to an American who's always gravitated to the right side. What was strange to me was the fact that the people walked on the left.

Then I thought, I should think of this from another angle. If it is traditional to walk on the left, then the strange thing should be driving on the right. "Ah! This question will be easier to answer than I first imagined," I thought. When posing a question about current Korean custom, I always compare pre- and post-WWII. While Japan was occupying Korea, Koreans drove on the left. After the Japanese were kicked out and the American armed forces flooded into the country, Koreans drove on the right. Simple enough to understand, right? ^^

But wait...

In Korean culture, there's a stigma against "left." You shouldn't drink out of a cup with your left hand, for instance. Left-handed kids used to train themselves to use their right hands because it was considered weird and backward to use chopsticks or write left-handedly. (Not really anymore, though I've experienced some Koreans using "left-handed" as a remarkable distinguisher when describing another person.) So, why is it embedded in their culture to walk left? Shouldn't they be walking right? Is this a leftover from Japanese occupation? And if so, why in the world would they post signs about true Korean cultural citizens walking on the left. Koreans hate the legacy of Japanese colonization so much that it they probably would have changed their walking direction to shed off more Japanese baggage. And if this custom predates Japanese occupation, why would it conflict with the ingrained taboo against the left side?

Still mulling this over...

Stronger Hands

Electronic Beowulf

While watching bad Korean TV (they only buy rights to show terrible movies on obscure channels at weird times) I came across an American movie. I was excited to FINALLY find something in my native language. I couldn't figure out what the movie was called, so I looked at the upper corner of the screen where the title was written in Korean.

At first, I thought it said, "전자 배울프"(jeon-ja bae-ul-puh). I snickered for only half a second, but then shrugged at the title. 전자 means electronic. Thus, I translated it to: Electronic Beowulf. Now, after spending 19 months in Korea, I find it perfectly possible (indeed likely) to watch a movie with such a title. It would not surprise me in the least that the Korean broadcasting powers-that-be thought a movie like Electronic Beowulf would entertain Korean audiences. I mean, what's not to like? It's based on a classic tale, and it's got a futuristic twist (not to mention incredible CG effects - sarcasm).

Then I looked a little more closely at the title. Instead, it read, "전사 배울프" (jeon-sa bae-ul-puh). Translation: Warrior Beowulf. ... Utter disappointment. "Damn," I thought, "This isn't going to be as awesomely bad as it should be in Korea. *Click.

Mono tales

It's sad, but true. I have contracted the EB virus. And yes, it sucks big time. After two unsuccessful trips to Korean doctors, and $600 spent at the international clinic, I can honestly say that I've never been so frustrated with being sick. I'm generally a healthy person ("healthy as a horse Noelle" my parents used to call me), and when I get sick, it's like a personal insult to my dignity.

Mono sucks. Being tired all the time is really annoying...but having an excuse to do nothing but watch bad TV isn't too shabby. Also on the bright side, my friends have proven how incredibly supportive they are.

Knowing little about the virus, I consulted the web for more information. Luckily, Meredith introduced me to quite possibly the greatest website ever. www.giantmicrobes.com This website sells all sorts of "microbes"...only in plush versions. Seriously, you can spend hours browsing through the maladies, calamities, and infirmaries.

Mono is listed as "Kissing Disease." (Poor thing...it'll never shake that stigma.) Click on the link and VOILA! You've got your own little furry Epstein-Barr virus companion. The coolest part is the real photo to compare your plush to.

How could I stay angry at this little guy? ^^


[Note: It is possible to give your sister "bad breath" for her birthday. Teehee!]