Box of pears

Frequently, Korean teachers receive gifts from students and parents. Most of the time, they give food. I've been treated to an occasional apple, juice box, and even piece of pizza. It's a great pick-me-up. However, I was still shocked with my latest gift.

Wednesday morning I arrive at school and discover a whole box of pears sitting on my desk. Not just one pear. No, an entire box of the things, 30 x 18 x 8" big. The sucker weighs 7.5 kg! Many times, when the teachers room gets goodies, they'll put one on my desk when I'm gone. Well, apparently one student's parents felt it necessary to bequeath boxes of pears to the teachers. EVERYONE got a box of pears. Why? They felt like it. Dude.

Downtown

Saturday was an exciting day for me. I managed to 1. get out of the house, 2. see another foreigner in Andong, and 3. acquire a striped shirt (they're all the rage here).

The afternoon was spent "downtown" with Min-yung and Oni. First, Min-yung got a haircut. Get this. Korean haircuts cost ~$8. I'm not exaggerating. The hair stylists were shocked to see a foreigner in their midst and kind of nervously glanced in my direction, probably afraid of me assessing their work. The place we went to was a little trendy and on the second floor of the building. So, there I was, sitting in a window seat, staring outside because I didn't want to make the stylists nervous and I could people-watch inconspicuously. Who do I see? A foreigner. He was a 20-something white guy with a large traveling backpack. I almost ran down the stairs and flagged him down. "Do you speak English? Will you be my friend?" However, the intensity of that greeting may have caused the poor guy to, well, mace me. Besides, he was far away and disappeared within seconds. Damn.

After the haircut, we strolled through the pedestrian friendly streets. Oni steered us into a trendy clothing store. Now, in America I would not have gone into this store out of principle. It looked too expensive (which, for me, is anything more than $15) and too...trendy...for my tastes. But, I go where they go, and I entered a domain more unfamiliar than Korea. It wasn't so bad. There weren't those annoying commission-happy workers with fake smiles and strong cologne. The store wasn't outrageously expensive either. Min-yung picked out a shirt for $20.

I was busying myself with looking at the current fashions (colorful plaids and stripes, if anyone's curious) when Oni asked me which one I liked. "Oh, no thank you," I graciously declined the offer. She then continued to hold up shirts under my neck commenting on whether they suited my complexion. "Noelle, pick something out," Min-yung said. "I have to?" "Yes." "But, I already have clothes." "You must." Uh. Alright... "Wait, these are Korean sizes. They probably won't fit...unless there's a maternity section..." "No, size issoyo." *translation "Size present." I didn't believe her, but I was obligated, so I looked through the racks. I decided I was undecided. I told Oni that she needed to pick something out for me. She grabbed a hanger suspending a cherry-red striped button down shirt. This thing was bright! If I wear this, I thought, I will become the Where's Waldo of Andong. Thankfully, she pulled two more from the rack, the same style, but in blue and purple. Even these were attention-getting, which is not what I need. Yet, I didn't want to disappoint, so I chose the purple, it being halfway between the red and blue. This pleased Oni greatly, so much so that I was required to wear it right then and there. "It is not necessary to buy me clothes," I told Oni. She explained that it was a present for the upcoming holiday, Chuseok. She's buying all her kids clothes and included me. Aw.

The next store we visited was a cheaper and more comfortable version of the previous one. The great thing about this store was the t-shirt section. Most of the t-shirts had messages in "English" printed on them. Yes, it was hilarious. I couldn't help but giggle incessantly at the bad grammar and their downright bizarre nature. My favorites are:

Scream the Mousse.

and

Bend over
Back Ward
Have a Prayer
I Entrust
You With
Player

It's times like these I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

What do Korean students think about 9/11?

I was exhausted all week. It started on Sunday night when I corrected 80 essays about Sept. 11. I could have spread out the work over 5 days...but did I? Of course not. Instead, I had to stay up until 4 AM. Will I ever learn? I don't think my eyes have recovered. Even though it nearly killed me on Monday morning, I am happy I assigned the essay. I was thoroughly impressed with my students.

The topic:
What are your thoughts and opinions about the 9/11 attacks in America?

Some responses:

“People who live in these countries have suffered from hunger and poverty. In this situation, forcing ideology upon them might make them hostile.” (commenting on democracy and countries like Iraq and Palestine)

“I am not anti-American. I know the U.S. stands in the middle of the world, and I agree with the fact that the U.S. leads the world. So, I wish that the U.S. would become a rightful leader. The U.S. leads the unification of the world and makes the world peaceful, of course, with other countries.”

“But the terrorists are attacked all over the world because America is strong and the terrorists are weak. America has only the reason that they were attacked? Are terrorists real evil? I think not. This is a bad situation, but it is not because they are evil. Obviously, it has a cause and effect. We must not see only the effect. We must know the concealed cause. Otherwise, a vicious circle will arise. People attack to avenge attacks. Again, and again, this is a circle. What is remaining of the fight of the strong? Only a sacrifice of the weak, only a death written in water. The world must understand and forgive each other. The past is not important. We choose the time to come rather than terrible past events. What is done cannot be undone.”

“I think the American government planned it for Iraq’s oil. That is, WTC is the victim of oil…America has very good and advanced weapons and information. It is impossible to crash into the WTC if controlled by hijackers. However, the American government would be able to manage it. This is all my opinion. The truth is known by only a leader of this plot. Anyway, we cannot know the truth, but leader is very wicked.”

“A proverb says that when you see defects in others, reflect on yours for correction. Then the terror isn’t only the USA’s problem. Those buildings involved Koreans.”

“In early 20^th century, many Korean attacked Japanese leader and building to get a independent. In Korean sight, it was honorous sacrifice because Korea dominated by Japan. But how about a Japanese perspective? All of Japan journals reported this action as a terrorism. I think there is a some common between past and present. Al-Qaeda and Taliban may regard 9/11 as a successful independent operations. But western country and U.S. is not.”

“In order to make a peaceful world, we should share everything. It can be harmonious if (not only you, not only I) the most important thing is “we.” In my opinion, the USA has enough power (economic, army…and so on) to make the world more harmonious.”

“Revenge follows revenge, war follows war, destruction follows destruction. The U.S. shows us generosity and complacency. In the future, if the U.S. wants to remain a powerful country, it should change. It should think about all countries, religions, races, and cultures. The. U.S. should recognize that, on earth, the U.S. is not the only country. If the U.S. acknowledged this, and tries to get along with other countries, it will defend itself against a second 9/11 permanently.”

“The terror gave Americans many things. Revolution of the spirit and mind. American began to hate Middle East person. It is not right.”

“I disappointed about USA. Usually, I dream that I want to participate in USA army. But through the 9/11 terror, I really disappointed. But I still respect the USA. If I were George Bush, I eliminate the Taliban and Osama bin Laden. Do not this, Taliban will resist about USA permanently. 9/11 terror was treason of God. USA is greatest country. The against about USA, it’s death. The small country attack the big country is not sound. It is not sound. It is the cause of the big war. If I were Osama bin Laden, I live in rural, quietly.”

“Not only terrorists but also America government threatens world peace because it is caused a lot of Iraqi life. America government acts bring on other terror to Iraqis. In other words, the pot calls the kettle black.”

“Americans felt sad. I did too. But now my feel and idea change. Because after the accident, American made war. And it make lose many things similarly 9/11. World wants to come peace again. The war, though, have been continued now. I’m angry because I can’t understand why America act individually on globalization age. I find that reason. It is American want to show what they are well yet. That is to say they are based on ‘logic of power’. Mideast’s terror is wrong but America’s counter-war also is wrong. Because Mideast country has power but Mideast people is poor and powerless. In spite of this, American attack not only Mideast country but also these people.”

“They must solute this problem.”

*I couldn't help but add that last one.

It should happen more often...

You go girl!

Clinton dishes it.

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/09/24/clinton.binladen/index.html

Cutsie Culture #4

Korea has the perfect Oops, I forgot your birthday so I dropped by the local FamilyMart and picked out the first thing that I could buy with the $2 in my wallet gift. Now, boyfriends everywhere can "Send My Sweet Love" "To you." with Two You Chocolate. Brilliant.

Random musings

So here I am...sitting at my desk in the teacher's room...I've just read ALL the articles on the homepages of both BBC News and CNN. I arrive at school, everyday, at 8:30 AM. My first class on Friday starts at 10:20. My lesson is all planned and stacked neatly on my desk. I suppose I could plan for next week, since I know I'll stress out about the four lessons I have to plan in 2 days. But am I going to get ahead? Psh.

Random musings of the day:

~Koreans chew their food extraordinarily loudly. This isn't limited to slurping soups or smacking salty lips. Everything (gum, cough drops, water) is masticated with fervor. In fact, I have my headphones on and can hear a teacher four desks away chomping on his gum.

~There are 4, four-inch-long dragonflies taking laps around the teachers room. No one seems to notice.

The New Recruits

Last Sunday, I went to the school to perform my duty as official human trophy. P*ngsan high school is a private boarding school with limited spots available every year. In fact, they will only admit 100 students into the new 1st grade class. Admittance is highly competitive. This year alone there are over 600 applicants from all over Korea. Sunday was an information session for parents and prospective students. I was asked by Mr. Lee and the principal to be present. Of course, I acquiesced.

The students thoroughly cleaned the place and were assigned positions at the front gate and any other doorway to bow to the guests. It was fun to see their communal bows perfectly timed about every 30 seconds as someone new approached. I arrived at P*ngsan at 2, got a spiffy name tag that translates to "Foreign Language Teacher" (I'm not quite sure if they mean I teach a foreign language or that I'm a foreigner...probably both), and was ushered into the cafeteria which was providing tasty morsels. This would have all well and good except there were no other teachers around, and I don't speak Korean. Oh, and everyone stares at me. I'm always in the spotlight here with people watching my every move. So, I entered the cafeteria, people stopped what they were doing for the obligatory stare, then awkwardly made my way to the food table. I opted to stay away from anything that would require me to use chopsticks because, honestly, I get stage fright around native chopstick users.

Noticing I was the only teacher around, I gravitated to the students bowing at the door. "I'm gonna hang out with you guys a little bit because I seem to be the only teacher here." They smiled and nodded between bows. At this point, I noticed that I enjoy hanging out with my students outside of class because I don't have to worry about shoving useful content into their brains. Ten long minutes later, I walked over to the auditorium. It was here that all the prospective parents and students awaited the juicy details. Everyone was required to put little booties over their shoes rather than having a pile of 1000 shoes outside the door. The principal ushered me over to some chairs near the stage. I sat, then he left. I was the only one sitting in a row of 10 chairs for a significantly long period of time. What did I do? Tried not to stare back at people and let my mind wander into the netheregions of consciousness.

Finally, it was time for the presentation. The principal said a little spiel, then introduced everyone (now ten of us) sitting against the wall. I was introduced after the vice principal, administrators, highest ranking teacher, and Mr. Lee-in hierarchical order. I stood up and bowed to the crowd like the others. Too bad I'm short because some people were really straining to get a good look at the foreigner. Just then I realized that there were no other teachers introduced. In fact, most of the other teachers were long gone by now. Ummmm. Turns out I'm something of a trophy for P*ngsan high school. My presence says, "Look at us! We're special. Look, we've got a foreigner here!" I shrugged this off and sat back down. Part of the job, I spose.

I sat in that chair while people spoke in Korean for over an hour. Every detail must have been covered in this presentation. From the history of the school's founding to George Bush senior's visit last year...no tidbit was left unspoken. There was one exciting section. A rock band composed of 2nd grade (junior) students performed a famous Korean pop song. It was fantastic! One guy dished out a solo on his guitar, and the singer sang in that peculiarly Korean way. Otherwise, the rest of the time was Mr. Lee reading a powerpoint and highlighting especially special aspects of P*ngsan. I attempted to comprehend some of the Korean but found this exhausting and once again turned of the most active part of my brain. Everyone else in the room seemed to get antsy and bored toward the end too. In fact, when the presentation was over, most people bolted for the door. I immediately got up, picked up my stuff, and took the bus home. It's funny how sitting bored for an hour actually zaps all your energy for the day. I just wanted a nap.

Create an Interview

My classes went surprisingly ... well ... today.

I started off by "fixing problems." There were 5 problems really:

1. starting class on time
2. late students
3. absent students
4. inconsistent punishment (for speaking Korean and sleeping)
5. failure to complete homework

Yeah. I lectured the kids again. This time I offered solutions to the problems. First, class will start immediately after the bell rings and the class captain performs insa (bowing). I expect this to help the students focus and settle down faster. Second...ok, ETAs you're gonna role your eyes...I am requiring my students to count off right after insa. For those of you who don't know, every Korean student has a number. So, my students will say their number out loud in numerical order-counting off. This is the fastest way for me to determine who is absent (by number) and who is late. I know what you're thinking, "Isn't that a little mechanical for human interaction?" The answer is yes. I have to get the engine to turn over before I can tweak it for better performance.

Number 4 is my failure as a teacher. I've been inconsistent punishing kids for using Korean in my class. It needs to stop. Thus, I outlined new punishments for violating the English Only policy. Students will be instructed to stand with their hands over their heads for an undetermined amount of time. or Students will do pushups. or Students will have English only lunch with me. (*collective gasp) or Students will write an extra essay. (*double gasp)

The homework bit was a speech on how it is the student's duty to finish their homework and turn it in on time. Most of my students looked toward the ground when I said this and I felt a twinge of guilt for making them feel guilty. But then I realized they were making ME feel guilty and got over it.

My lesson for today was posted online by an ex-ETA. It is a fabulous idea. I think I'm going to end up stealing lessons from everyone all year.

Create an Interview:
Groups choose a famous person to interview. They are given cards with 5 answers on them. the students must create an interview by making up questions to fit the answers. Here's the catch-the answers range from absurd to bizarre. For example:

1. Only when there's a full moon
2. An angry monkey
3. Yes, but she's not a real person.
4. My pants were too big.
5. Why does everyone always ask me that?

My kids sure are creative and hilarious.

Famous person: George Bush
Q. "How big is your cowboy hat?"
A. "Why does everyone always ask me that?"

Famous person: Osama bin Laden
Q. "What do you think of George Bush?"
A. "He's like an uncle to me."

Famous person: Bill Gates
Q. "What did you want to be when you were a kid?"
A. "A wizard."

Famous person: Me
Q. "What do you think of the principal?"
A. "Gollum from Lord of the Rings."

My principal's stature is quite similar to Gollum's actually.

City Hall and a Foreigner's Welcome

I've been trying to find a schedule in English for the annual Andong Mask Dance festival. [I'll explore the festival in a future post.] Many ETAs have asked me about what's going on when (it's a 10 day event), and I have been trying to round some sort of coherent time and place data set from somewhere...anywhere. I asked my host mother to help me gather the information. So where does she take me? City Hall, of course.

Andong City Hall was completely different than any American city hall I've visited. First, it was NOT a 50 degree building staffed by two secretaries with Kenny G musak playing in the background...It IS one giant open office staffed by over 50 busy people with running water fountains as the room center pieces. I kid you not, there could have been fish in there. Oh, and remember how I told you people stare at me? Yeah. The ENTIRE room of employees (each extremely busy, mind you) turned and acknowledged my entrance into the room with a brief stare. Some "tactfully" stole side-glances, some simply stared from the "anonymity" of their desk.

Andong doesn't get many foreigners...so when Oni asked the nice lady at the desk for English pamphlets, the woman came back with not only an English pamphlet, but a necklace for me! The necklace has a miniature mask used in the traditional dance. It's absolutely amazing! I thanked her profusely, then quietly asked Oni why they gave it to me. "Because you are foreigner," she stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure they had three employees helping to track down the English paraphernalia because two other guys gave me separate books on the festival and city.

In the end, I left City Hall with a Korean pamphlet, an English pamphlet, an English guidebook, a necklace...and 50 pairs of eyes on my back.

Oh, and I never did get an English schedule. Apparently, they don't exist.

PS: ETAs: I'm working on a translation from the Korean schedule.

Sept. 11 lesson

I'm teaching a lesson on Sept. 11...which is today. It's been a pretty subdued lesson. Today, I'm bombarding the kids with photos and videos of the attacks. I'm giving them all the gorey details about the loss of life and impact on Americans. Tomorrow, the lessons gonna be more "motive" based. Why did this happen? type of questions. My students, I predict, will have intriguing responses.

Today, one particular questions/comment made me freeze in that momentary system overload I experience when truly caught off guard. "Have you ever thought like Osama bin Laden? I mean, have you ever thought about it from his perspective? It is similar, I think, to how the Koreans fought against Japanese occupation. We did similar acts against the Japanese, but we were fighting against our oppressors."

Huh.
(It's times like these that my response can only be the "huh" sound, indicating my system restart.)

You guessed it, I'm assigning an essay topic.

Personally, before planning this lesson, I didn't even know the flight numbers of the hijacked planes. I didn't know the nationalities of all the hijackers. I didn't know half of the conspiracy theory shit that is out there. Frankly, after spending hours putting together a powerpoint of the human tragedy, I clenched my fist in rage at the audacity of some of those conspiracy theories. The government planted explosives and blew up the Towers just because they wanted to fight a war in the Middle-East? Ugh, it made me sick. I mean, while reading through the Google hits, it made me viscerally ill. It is fascinating to look back and wonder, "Would I have had the same reaction if I were in the States?" I think most of it was manifested by the fact that I had sat for hours absorbing gruesome and morbid images and videos. I couldn't fathom a nation deliberately inflicting this pain on its own people...well, maybe I couldn't fathom OUR nation deliberately doing so. I'm going to ponder this a bit.

Another Korean dichotomy?

Korean water coolers have two settings: brain freeze and welding gloves required.

The awful comparison

Apparently, the previous ETA at P*ngsan played games everyday with the kids. I don't mean he played Red Rover and kickball. No, he put together game-like activities to teach the students English grammar, vocabulary, pronunciation, etc.

I suck at planning games.

This week I was a terrible teacher.

Better luck next week.

The Second Week

I had discipline problems this week. My second grade classes had some boys who were 'too cool for school.' They didn't follow instructions, spoke Korean, and repeatedly ignored my lecturing. I had to speak with them after class. I don't think the class was expecting that because they all kind of gaped and smiled surprisingly when I said, "You three boys. I want to talk to you after class." Being singled out in a Korean classroom is pretty embarassing. "Why did I call you up here?" I asked. They all bowed their heads and looked down at the floor. I don't think they were sorry, but now at least they know I'm willing to call them out on their behavior.

My first graders had problems too. They speak Korean way too often, even when I instruct them not to. I gave them a stern lecture at the end of class. "I am NOT very happy. You are not respecting me, your teacher, or your fellow students. I expect more from you. You are P*ngsan High School students. You should do better." They went quiet and stared at me. Thus, I assigned an extra essay as punishment, entitled, "Why I should participate in English class." They have to write 15 sentences on this. Take THAT! I know I'll be shooting myself when I have to correct and score all those essays. However, I felt it was necessary to have some tangible punishment...and punishment that makes them use their English. Maybe they weren't expecting me, a young American, to teach a serious class. They probably thought it was going to be all fun and games, or at least a blow-off class with an easy-going ETA. Well, they'll have to wake up...figuratively and literally.

The Football Emergency

Gooooooooo, Irish!

ND Football...how I love thee.

Thank goodness for internet radio and "gamewatch" on the ND website. I feel so disconnected out here...on the other side of the planet. Missing this season's football games was going to be painful. However, I managed to put together a bit of a system so that I could pretend to know what's going on. It sort of worked. I got up early (8:45 am) to listen to the game...all morning. Ahhh, it just wasn't the same. I don't know what I'm gonna do when the games are played in the afternoon in South Bend because it'll be 4 am, Korean time.

If anyone knows how to download ND football games so as to actually watch it, please let me know! Also, if anyone knows what the hell a 'podcast' is via iTunes, I'd love to find out.

Cutsie Culture #3

Stationary. Koreans love stationary. However, this isn't the simple colored, unlined stationary like in the U.S. Nooooo. It's beatifully decorated with some Korean or English quote about love in the top corner. Where American stationary is utilitarian, Korean stationary is profound...in a bad English kind of way.

Exhibit A:

I found this stationary and was so tickled I bought it, even though I haven't written on a single sheet yet. Across the center of the sheet, gold leafing reads, "As I look out to opened window of silent evening sky your sleeping image suddenly dawns upon me. Like there are many stars up in the sky, my words for you in this paper resemble tiny bits of seeds." I kid you not. It exists.

The greatest part is the message in the corner. "You also gave me more time to think about you as I fall asleep." Um. I understand where they're trying to go with this one, but think about the situation a bit. How can a person give another more time? The person writing this letter totally isn't getting any. In fact, this is probably "I screwed up," "Forgive me" stationary. Haha. I guess even break-ups are cutsie in Korea.