Stronger Hands

Electronic Beowulf

While watching bad Korean TV (they only buy rights to show terrible movies on obscure channels at weird times) I came across an American movie. I was excited to FINALLY find something in my native language. I couldn't figure out what the movie was called, so I looked at the upper corner of the screen where the title was written in Korean.

At first, I thought it said, "전자 배울프"(jeon-ja bae-ul-puh). I snickered for only half a second, but then shrugged at the title. 전자 means electronic. Thus, I translated it to: Electronic Beowulf. Now, after spending 19 months in Korea, I find it perfectly possible (indeed likely) to watch a movie with such a title. It would not surprise me in the least that the Korean broadcasting powers-that-be thought a movie like Electronic Beowulf would entertain Korean audiences. I mean, what's not to like? It's based on a classic tale, and it's got a futuristic twist (not to mention incredible CG effects - sarcasm).

Then I looked a little more closely at the title. Instead, it read, "전사 배울프" (jeon-sa bae-ul-puh). Translation: Warrior Beowulf. ... Utter disappointment. "Damn," I thought, "This isn't going to be as awesomely bad as it should be in Korea. *Click.

Mono tales

It's sad, but true. I have contracted the EB virus. And yes, it sucks big time. After two unsuccessful trips to Korean doctors, and $600 spent at the international clinic, I can honestly say that I've never been so frustrated with being sick. I'm generally a healthy person ("healthy as a horse Noelle" my parents used to call me), and when I get sick, it's like a personal insult to my dignity.

Mono sucks. Being tired all the time is really annoying...but having an excuse to do nothing but watch bad TV isn't too shabby. Also on the bright side, my friends have proven how incredibly supportive they are.

Knowing little about the virus, I consulted the web for more information. Luckily, Meredith introduced me to quite possibly the greatest website ever. www.giantmicrobes.com This website sells all sorts of "microbes"...only in plush versions. Seriously, you can spend hours browsing through the maladies, calamities, and infirmaries.

Mono is listed as "Kissing Disease." (Poor thing...it'll never shake that stigma.) Click on the link and VOILA! You've got your own little furry Epstein-Barr virus companion. The coolest part is the real photo to compare your plush to.

How could I stay angry at this little guy? ^^


[Note: It is possible to give your sister "bad breath" for her birthday. Teehee!]

Yes.We.Can

Not so great update

I probably have mono.

More when I can stay awake long enough to write about it.

K-TV

Most Korean TV (besides soap operas) involves Korean celebrities getting together and doing...stuff. And by "stuff" I mean they do all kinds of stupid things. The funny part is watching their reactions to the situations. Usually there are 5 or more comedians, singers, hosts, etc. all thrown into some sort of task-oriented situation. It can be anything. I've seen shows that force the celebrities to endure boot camp (for a day), star in an action video, throw each other off kayaks, sing karaoke of songs by the original singer in front of him, dig themselves out of a muddy hole, survive a night in a snowy tent, cook, stack pots and pull a tablecloth out from under them without them spilling over, drive across the country in a van, learn traditional drumming from a mean grandma, visit a grandma, eat, even go to English camp. At first, I couldn't fathom why anyone would want to watch other people eat for an hour. But then I watched it...for an hour. The funniness comes from famous people making fools out of each other. I can't even understand 90% of what they say. It's still funny-a lot of the time. There comes a time when I just can't sit through grown men dressing up like schoolgirls and complaining about their lack of beauty. Today, I saw 6 women jump off a 12 meter platform in army gear. Two of them cried. It was hilarious.

Dear Korea #2

Dear Korea,

Why do Korean women wear make-up that makes their skin look "shiny" [read:oily] ON PURPOSE?

Sincerely,
confused foreign female