Byzantine Art & Architecture exam: TERRIBLE! I studied all day yesterday and I left feeling like a gutted fish. It was like a chapter from Faulkner's AS I LAY DYING. I am a fish. Katie shared the same sentiment saying she felt "eviscerated." Damn her descriptive journalism mumbo-jumbo. The test was really difficult partly because the amount of information we had to know (~800 years of information) and because I am convinced I don't think like an art historian. I cannot connect the dots that others can in a seemingly easy logic. I am also convinced that I will NEVER be an architect, nor study classical architecture. There are simply too many terms.
The midterm consisted of three parts: comparing slides, a short answer, and an essay. There were 6 sets of two slides. We had five minutes per pair to write down what, when, where, why, and why they are important. The short answer question is as follows:
Draw a plan of a "typical" mid-Byzantine (10-11 cent.) church and label it with the appropriate terms from the list below. Define briefly the function of each area you label.
Terms: ambo, apse, arcade, arcosolia, cubicula, diakonikon, diptych, dodekaorton, enkolpion, iconoclast, nave, naos, narthex, orangs, paten, prothesis, psalter, solea, stylite, synthrono, tablion, templon, transept, typikon.
Yeah...
ambo-I'm pretty sure this was a mid 70s dance craze
apse-a term used when one drops something, "Apse!"
arcade-a place where males go to pump the money their mother gave them into a machine that inhibits any kind of "interaction" with other humans save the scary janitor.
arcosolia-this medieval/goth band had a number one hit ("We wish we lived a thousand years ago, but without the unpleasantness of no access to black nail polish.") in Germany where anyone can make "music."
cubicula-yet another bastardization of vampire mythology. This vampire worked for a box company and had to file TPS reports.
diakonikon-coming to an amusement park near you!
diptych-something my dad used to call us when we screwed up royally
dodekaorton-collective name for the 12 sons of a NASCAR driver
enkolpion-who invents a word like this?
iconoclast-phrase shouted by a late student in middle-school
nave-isn't this a body part?
naos-a colony founded by MENSA members
narthex-a colony visited by the Star Ship Enterprise
orans-not appropriate for children
paten-makes me think of a famous piccolo tune
prothesis-supporter of theses
psalter-usually placed in the middle of the table, next to the spepperer
solea-yet another emaciated model that goes by only her first name
stylite-Paris Hilton?
synthronon-a new comic book hero's hideout
tablion-fancy name for a fancy table setting
templon-place where one can handpick a temp with a nice selection of styles, sizes, and prices
transept-polite term for "hobo"
typikon-new annual convention for stenographers
I'm not positive what she was aiming at, but I'm pretty sure my definitions probably missed the mark.
The essay question was as follows: Citing specific examples, discuss the importance of Imperial patronage from Constantine the Great through Theodora (843) in determining the appearance and the role of art in Byzantine society. This question was worth 55 points. Usually I can bullshit my way to earn half the points, but there was NO WAY I even reached that in this case.
In a way I feel cheated because I actually studied really hard for this test. There should be a reciprocal relationship between studying and exams! If I study, I should know what to say on the exam. I SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU! (Well, not YOU, at the test...)
Attic Tragedy exam: PIECE OF CAKE! Before the teacher got there, Caleb announced that the challenge was to fit four specific words into the essay. These words were: hogwash, ragtag, ..., and buttery. It is my pleasure to inform you that no less than 5 people completed the task. I would have, except I didn't want to spend the time when I could have been studying for Greek.
Greek exam: LONG! Too...many...Greek...words...in my...head. The sad part is that my basic knowledge of this language is extremely remedial, even with over 500 words on flashcards.
Aegean & Ancient Greek Art & Archaeology paper: I FINALLY got it back. Prof. Diamant had lost it and I was afraid he was going to need another copy, thereby grading it separately, thereby knowing the specific author of the paper, thereby being very disappointed with my lack of intelligence. To my utter amazement, I GOT AN A-! There are very few paper grades that I've been surprised by, this probably tops them all. This guy is notoriously nitpicky and a little bit of an asshole. I think my grade was helped by the fact that my thesis agreed with his opinion on the matter. (Is Mycenae a city?-No.) Whatever, I'm still proud of it and may even send it back to ND to be put up on the fridge.
So, to sum up: I am not and will never be an art historian. My lit. test was buttery. Καταλαβαινω λιγο Ελληνικα. Finally, according to Prof. Diamant's atrocious handwriting, my paper was "mostly good thow more Myce evideure wuld be uide. A-"
Enkolpion, anyone?
1 comment:
Noelle, that definition list was awesome. My favorite is "cubicula" - I hear it scares the cattle.
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